A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red, violets are blue. Barack Obama says, nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

thumb_up thumb_down

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops