A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

What's brown and sticky? a stick

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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