why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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how long has dibey got left like :)

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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