a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

thumb_up thumb_down +183

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +79

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

20

thumb_up thumb_down +34

it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops