I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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