What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Derp

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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Your face

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3.14159365358979323846264

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Q:what's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat A:The wheel chair

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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