What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

what's up? my penis.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

Get off my porch.

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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