A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

an athiest walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -8

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Those last 4 were by: Walter

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guess what? What. This joke isn't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops