Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Wanker

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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A man... walks.

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What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

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A French man gets into a fight

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What's worse than a paper-cut? Two paper-cuts. What's worse than two paper-cuts? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three paper-cuts.

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops