Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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Penis

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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