roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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I just drank a cola.

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Wright flyer

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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