they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Where is my tractor?

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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