What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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My name is Harry.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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