Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which clearly underestimate the dangers of crossing a busy road.

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

Nope, but yeah Felix looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, I think, nah it was Oswald the Lucky rabbit I believe, and he used to get his ass kicked by... Damn, what`s the name of the fat cat that beat up Mickey in steamboat willie?

Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

Knock, Knock No one was home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...