I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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its funny cuz i laughed!

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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