Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

Womens rights !

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

a Polar bear in an Igloo.

What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Why was the girl crying? - Someone pooped on her face.

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

Cornelius went to the dcotor and got a sticker and a lollipop for being a good patient. He later went home and shoved the lollipop stick up his dick hole and started wildly masturbating. I forgot to mention Cornelius was 42 years old.

What's the difference between a chair and an identical chair? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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