Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Fart

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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