Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Obamacare

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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