Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Roses are red, They are also violet, yellow, white, pink, orange, purple, or orange.

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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