Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dying zebra.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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