John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

How to confuse a dumbass: see previous post.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

I pooped.

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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