Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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69- by Adam Chebali

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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balls

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What does water smell like? water.

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oooh look a banshee

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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