What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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Tunechi

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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That's what SHE said!

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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