Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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why did the monkey fall dead out of the tree? because edward cullen raped it up the arse sooo many times it died from internal bleeding.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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What hurts worse than a papercut? Divorce.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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