Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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Where's my baby??

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Who shit in my garden?

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Cows are land manatees.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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