Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What's white and gluey Glue

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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