How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Why does Spongebob go to work? Because he's ready.

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Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

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What do 69 and 420 have in common? That was my score on my Math final:(

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Nuneaton..

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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whats good about poland... fukk all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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