Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Bumsniffer

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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You know what's interesting about Polish people? Nothing.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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