If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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A convict is ripping out stop signs .. and a police comes out of no where and screams "What are you doing?!" The guys says Ripping up stop signs..

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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brittney griner

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops