waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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My penis is big... not.

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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What do you call a man with no legs? A cripple

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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The EPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops