What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

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A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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What is it too late to do? Apologize...

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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