What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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what do u call a apple a apple

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops