Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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