Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

thumb_up thumb_down +6

noah is a scrub jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's circular and round A circle

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops