The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

What do you call a building full of black people Jail

What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

whats black and white? a zebra

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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