Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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When life gives you lemons... Be thankful you're not starving, a**hole.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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long in the tooth!

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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My penis is big... not.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't. It's dead.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops