- Anti Joke

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

You know what's catchy? A cold

whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??