A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* Knock Knock. *Silence* *Busts open door* "Oh right... I killed Bob last week.

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Is maynaise an instrument?

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Woman's Rights

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Diarrhea

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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what is similar between a mexican and a bench? they are both illeageal. except the bench

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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