What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Have you seen the clown hiding from gay people at walmart?

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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