what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

knock! knock! Who's there ...So y do you have a peep whole?

Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

A black man, a mexican, and a christain are on an island. There are also many other people on the island, since all of North America and South America is one giant land mass.

A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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