- Anti Joke

more chocolate?

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

there was a rich kid strolling in the woods.he saw a bear, HE DIED

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

Liverpool City Football Club

Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

69

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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