What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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whats good about poland... fukk all

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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You know what they called Obama in highschool? Nigge*

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

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Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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Yo momma is so ugly, that she has no mirrors in her home to avoid the feeling of disgust and sadness she gets whenever she sees her reflexion

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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