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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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You will not press the like button.

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Q: what are very funny A: Jokes

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kcuf read it backwards

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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