This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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Q: why did the train not make it to the station? A: it crashed and killed everybody on board.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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a seal walks into a club.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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69

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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