Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

Yo momma so fat you have aids

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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