An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

thumb_up thumb_down -11

They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

thumb_up thumb_down -11

squash squash who squash my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops