Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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