Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

20

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sonic

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

thumb_up thumb_down

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops