How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -194

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +201

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

68

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops