I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops