Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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PATHETIC

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boobs

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Where is my tractor?

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops