What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

thumb_up thumb_down +183

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops